I’m climate change denier Tony Heller. You might know me better by my pen name, “Steven Goddard,” or Twitter handle, @SteveSGoddard. This is my story.
First, you should know that I’m pretty much a nobody in the climate debate. I’m laughed at by all climatologists. I’m not even taken seriously by true climate skeptics. I don’t have a degree in climatology. I haven’t written a single academic paper about climate change and I don’t have a job related to climatology or the weather. What I do have is a blog and a Twitter account. And as it turns out, that’s pretty much all you need to be a somebody in the climate debate.
Like a shit stain, my blog is ugly, embarrassing and, as much as you hate to, it’s something you have to deal with. One fellow climate denier described my blog as “the crack house of skepticism.” But enough uneducated morons and right-wing ideologues link to my blog to grant me substantial ranking on Google search results. As a result, any layperson on the Internet who has researched global warming with Google to a fair degree has likely read the bullshit posted on my website where I claim to be able to drive 250,000 visitors to my site every week and have received over 20 million page views as of November 2014. I have also attracted over
4000 11,000 14,000 19,000 Twitter followers with more than 18,000 50,000 84,000 111,000 tweets. And so although a complete nobody in the climate debate, I have a fair amount of influence over thousands, perhaps millions, of impressionable individuals who don’t have a basic grasp of the facts on global warming.
My first notable attempt at refuting climate scientists was in an article appearing on “The Register” website which was reprinted as my first guest blog post on Anthony Watts’ infamous “Watt’s Up with That?” climate denial website using my pseudonym “Steven Goddard.” Though I’m not qualified in any way to perform climate analysis, like many successful climate deniers, I have enough of a background in science and math to appear knowledgeable to the average Joe, but anybody with a serious background in climatology quickly realizes how clueless I am. But I’ve learned you don’t need to be right or truthful to attract an audience. Today’s political climate is rife with rabidly anti-government, free market types that are easy to manipulate and connect with.
Anyway, in my first guest blog post for Watts, I essentially accused officials at the NSIDC, a government funded organization that monitors snow and ice formation on the planet, of fudging data about the melting arctic ice cap to make it appear as if it was melting more than it was. After going around and around incessantly in the comment section of the blog post and wasting a lot of people’s time with my bad analysis, I ultimately ended up having to issue an apology and acknowledge that the NSIDC was correct after an official from the organization took the time to point out how full of shit I was. Of course, that didn’t stop me from saying other dumb shit on Anthony’s blog because I simply don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about when it comes to the climate. For example, in this post, I make the ridiculous claim that it’s so cold in Antarctica that CO2 freezes out of the air like snow similar to what happens on Mars. Even after it’s pointed out in the comments just how fucking stupid that is and after Watts posted a retraction, I continue to insist I’m right.
In 2010, after a two-year stint guest blogging at WUWT, Anthony Watts figured out what an embarrassment I was to his site and fired me from my volunteer position as a guest blogger. So, I did what any denier hungry for a piece of the oil money action would do and launched my own climate denial blog, “Real Climate,” which I supplemented with my Twitter feed a year later. Continuing to post anonymously under my pseudonym “Steven Goddard,” I hammered out piles of pure bullshit making all kinds of baseless accusations against scientists and government officials. It wasn’t until June 23, 2014 that I finally started getting some traction with a post accusing NOAA and NASA of purposefully fudging US temperature data. Of course, it was all bullshit and easily refuted but that didn’t matter. It was choice red meat propaganda and so it got picked up by the corporate shills at Fox News and spread far and wide throughout the right wing echo chamber. I had finally hit the big time and now the world had heard about Steven FUCKING Goddard.
But now that I was getting some attention, it became clear that I couldn’t properly capitalize on my new found notoriety by remaining anonymous. So on June 27, 2014, I revealed my true identity, Tony Heller.
My next big break was my speaking gig at Heartland Institute’s climate denier conference held in Las Vegas just a couple of weeks later in July. You can watch my rambling, bumbling presentation at the conference here. Despite my rather underwhelming talk, the event was still a fantastic opportunity to network with other climate deniers and start connecting with others who could help me get paid for spewing my bullshit to my denier lemmings and clouding the climate change debate for my unsuspecting readers.
Since that time, the hundreds of embarrassingly bad blogs posts that would torpedo any real scientist’s career hasn’t put a dent in my career as a professional denier. For example, there was the time I confused sea ice with a glacier on my blog and had to erase all evidence of my post when I got called out on it. Despite my buffoonery, things have actually been going swimmingly. Because fake news has become indistinguishable from real news in the minds of many and because scientific knowledge has been overwhelmed with nonsense, it makes it possible for someone like me to have real influence. My bogus charts have been cited by the likes of United States Senator Ted Cruz and I even appeared and spoke alongside Australian Senator Malcolm Roberts at his press conference in 2016. I’m also now frequently quoted as a climate authority by right wing propaganda outlets like Climate Depot and Breitbart.
I’m looking forward to continuing my work and building upon my reputation as an unapologetic sociopath and fighting the climate jihadists with juvenile insults. I am a rabid partisan and my work is an extension of my extreme right-wing ideology. Do I feel shame deceiving readers with unsubstantiated conspiracy theories, half truths, and ceaseless cherry picking? Nope! In fact, I view all progressives as the enemy and I will gladly say next to anything if I think it will undermine them. And I certainly have no issue with doing all this work for money so please donate today!