I am a climate troll. Why? Well, it’s complicated. Let’s skip the psychology of it all (remember, I’m not a sociopath) and get right to how to be a successful climate troll. I’ve been at this game religiously for over six years and I’d say I know a thing or, two. Let’s get to it!
Our very first tip is about the importance of hurling insults on Twitter. Our audience loves red meat. That’s why even though I’m not a liberal I’m not afraid to insult liberally. It’s a tried and true technique for building your fan base so you can get your bullshit spread way out there. Check out a small sample below. When you’re finished, be sure to see a more comprehensive list of my insult tweets here.
Celebrating 143+ years of idiots "absurdly" blaming climate change on the actions of men trove.nla.gov.au/ndp/del/articl… http://t.co/nNjNJHViji—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) January 29, 2014
@populi_voce Only a complete moron would confuse Irene's small storm surge for a permanent rise in sea level.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) December 01, 2013
Only a complete moron could have believed the Arctic would become ice free. There is 5 meter thick ice all along the Canadian coast @algore—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) July 31, 2014
@VeteranDave @GalileoMovement The scale is identical you moron.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) July 19, 2014
@GOPBSBusters @WayneBogda @billmckibben I married a Russian refugee from the Soviet Union. Does that count? You moron.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) September 14, 2014
@Queen8Bees @WayneBogda @GOPBSBusters Homer - you must have missed the fact that Dems have been running the US for 16 of the last 24 years.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) September 15, 2014
@rubiginosa @eachus Hockey stick starts over 100 years ago, Homer.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) February 07, 2014
As you can see, my preferred insults are “moron,” “idiot,” and my personal favorite, “Homer,” which is kind of my trademark insult, alluding to the dim-witted father from “The Simpson’s.” Sometimes I’ll get really clever and just use the word “DOH” in all caps which is an allusion to Homer Simpson (he says that a lot).
In the end, it doesn’t matter which words you use, really. In general, anything that insults the intelligence of your opponent will work. You can also call into question the sanity of your opponent. Call them “weird” or “paranoid” or another one of my favorite insults, “sociopath.” Here’s some examples of this in action:
There is no possible weather outcome which alarmists won't claim they predicted all along. They are classic sociopaths.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) January 11, 2014
Dear @BarackObama What kind of sociopath can convince himself that he controls the climate?—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) June 11, 2014
@aidandxb I'll take a successful entrepreneur over a sociopath communist any day.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) January 16, 2014
@rpmsol It is fun watching you get paranoid that I am making up data.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) February 23, 2014
@MikeH2014 @SouBundanga No one "hid the caption" Take your paranoid meds It is a screenshot from Science News vol 107 http://t.co/dR1c43iYNe—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) February 28, 2014
I particulaly love this tweet because it questions the person’s intellegence and sanity at the same time:
@oribren @Barack_McBush @JonahNRO @algore Your paranoia is considerably higher than your IQ ocean.dmi.dk/arctic/old_ice… http://t.co/Xy1yTtSpy3—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) August 02, 2014
You can also occasionally pull out the stops and go with really over the top stuff, like calling climate change believers “terrorists”:
Like ISIS, climate terrorists believe that everyone else should be forced to follow their religion. @harmlesstree2 @billmckibben—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) September 07, 2014
All these insults are not only a sure-fire way to build audience, but your underdeveloped ego, too. Now, a small sliver of people will see you for what you are: a self-loathing asshole. But that’s OK. Ignore them. Remember, we are targeting a very specific audience: the morons (see what I did here ;) ) that will eat this shit up.
That’s all for this week. Give insults a try and watch your Twitter followers skyrocket!
3 thoughts on “Weekly Climate Troll Tip #1: Tweet Insults”
Aw, hell, “Steven” informed me years ago that I am a moron AND an idiot. Also a Commie.
I always try to stay ahead of the curve.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t even have to care about the topic to appreciate the art.
Back in the day, monbiot did a deck of climate denier cards like the iraqwar psyops did.
It was derivative and uninspired.
The ultimate venue for inspired trollery is, of course, https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Main_Page
I think you have talent and can go further.
Thanks. I just may honor you with an insult you so you can join our esteemed list of insultees, you moron: https://tonyhellerakastevengoddardisnotasociopath.wordpress.com/tony-hellers-aka-steven-goddards-latest-and-greatest-insults/