I am a climate troll. Why? Well, it’s complicated. Let’s skip the psychology of it all (remember, I’m not a sociopath) and get right to how to be a successful climate troll. I’ve been at this game religiously for over six years and I’d say I know a thing or, two. Let’s get to it!
Our very first tip is about the importance of hurling insults on Twitter. Our audience loves red meat. That’s why even though I’m not a liberal I’m not afraid to insult liberally. It’s a tried and true technique for building your fan base so you can get your bullshit spread way out there. Check out a small sample below. When you’re finished, be sure to see a more comprehensive list of my insult tweets here.
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) January 29, 2014
@populi_voce Only a complete moron would confuse Irene's small storm surge for a permanent rise in sea level.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) December 01, 2013
Only a complete moron could have believed the Arctic would become ice free. There is 5 meter thick ice all along the Canadian coast @algore—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) July 31, 2014
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) July 19, 2014
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) September 14, 2014
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) September 15, 2014
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) February 07, 2014
As you can see, my preferred insults are “moron,” “idiot,” and my personal favorite, “Homer,” which is kind of my trademark insult, alluding to the dim-witted father from “The Simpson’s.” Sometimes I’ll get really clever and just use the word “DOH” in all caps which is an allusion to Homer Simpson (he says that a lot).
In the end, it doesn’t matter which words you use, really. In general, anything that insults the intelligence of your opponent will work. You can also call into question the sanity of your opponent. Call them “weird” or “paranoid” or another one of my favorite insults, “sociopath.” Here’s some examples of this in action:
There is no possible weather outcome which alarmists won't claim they predicted all along. They are classic sociopaths.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) January 11, 2014
Dear @BarackObama What kind of sociopath can convince himself that he controls the climate?—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) June 11, 2014
@aidandxb I'll take a successful entrepreneur over a sociopath communist any day.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) January 16, 2014
@rpmsol It is fun watching you get paranoid that I am making up data.—
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) February 23, 2014
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) February 28, 2014
I particulaly love this tweet because it questions the person’s intellegence and sanity at the same time:
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) August 02, 2014
You can also occasionally pull out the stops and go with really over the top stuff, like calling climate change believers “terrorists”:
Steve Goddard (@SteveSGoddard) September 07, 2014
All these insults are not only a sure-fire way to build audience, but your underdeveloped ego, too. Now, a small sliver of people will see you for what you are: a self-loathing asshole. But that’s OK. Ignore them. Remember, we are targeting a very specific audience: the morons (see what I did here ;) ) that will eat this shit up.
That’s all for this week. Give insults a try and watch your Twitter followers skyrocket!