You would think by now, with a weather forecast just a couple of taps away on your phone, we no longer would have to suffer through watching people in cheap suits on our local news channel desperately trying to keep our attention with lame jokes as they tell us about tomorrow’s weather. But apparently, the ad market for boner pills and adult diapers for people who still use flip phones is large enough to keep TV meteorologists employed for the foreseeable future.
There’s an entire list of TV meteorologists who went public with their doubts about global warming about 10 years ago which you can see here under the “Meteorologists” section of the page. The good news is that there have been a few recent instances of weather personalities who came clean and renounced their skepticism. And we want to encourage more of this behavior. So, as a public service, we think it’s high time to track down and call these other green screen masters to the carpet to see if they have come to their senses yet:
Washington, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced his choice, Steven Goddard, to head up the new commission overseeing what he calls the “War for Scientific Truth and Integrity,” an effort he introduced in a speech from the Oval Office last week.
“I was on Twitter and saw Steven has been saying lots of nice things about me and people respect him; he has over 13,000 Twitter followers. I also like that his name is ‘Steve,’” President Trump said from the steps of the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History. “He’s also white. He’s very, very, very white. Very white,” he continued.
Goddard, whose birth name is Tony Heller, is an unknown in established scientific circles and a controversial choice for Trump. Best known for his accusations that NOAA and NASA have tampered with temperature records, he is a popular figure in the climate change skeptic community. His claims have been publicized by many conservative and alt-right news outlets including Fox News,Breitbart (newly acquired by The Trump Organization, LLC) and Drudge Report. His work has also been cited by prominent political figures such as US Senator Ted Cruz and Australian Senator-elect Malcolm Roberts. Goddard has not published his work in any peer-reviewed scientific papers to date, choosing instead to use his blog to publish the evidence which he claims debunks climate change as a scientific hoax.
At last week’s press conference, President Trump outlined the goals of his aggressive initiative to “get to the bottom of why America is not winning at science” and “drain the swamp of elites running our science.” President Trump also expressed frustration by what he saw as a lack of progress by the scientific community, stating that “We’re not winning in science any more. We used to put men on the moon. Now China is going to go there. What the hell is going on? It’s time we made science great again.”
It’s unclear, however, exactly how President Trump plans to execute his desire to reshape how scientific work is undertaken in the United States. Many presume the so-called “War for Science” commission, that Goddard now heads, will be tasked with making policy recommendations to the President and Congress.
Reaction to President Trump’s murky proposals by some established scientists has been swift and harsh. Moments after his announcement of Goddard, Michael E. Mann, a climatologist at the University of Pennsylvania, tweeted, “Our worst nightmares are coming true. Idiocracy is upon us,” referencing the 2006 Hollywood comedy movie where scientific advances are stunted as a result of the decline in the intelligence quotients of the American people. Many other scientists, however, would not go on the record citing their concerns of retaliation by President Trump’s administration officials.
Goddard was unavailable for comment but tweeted, “Thank you President Trump! Can’t wait to share a cold Brawndo with you in the oval office. You’ll love it!”
The time has come, my fellow climate deniers, for us to take a stand. We, the dedicated dozens toiling day in and day out on Twitter and various free blogging services to save the world from the global warming alarmists, can no longer afford to stand by idly while we are ostracized by the scientific community. Yes, we must work hard to Make Science Great Again.
First, we need to tear down the walls and barriers denying us access to publication to scientific journals. Science should be open to anyone who is interested in participating, just like it was 400 years ago when anyone who could figure out how to grind glass could help further the triumph of Western Civilization over our dominion.
Next, we are going to drive out all the elitists at NASA and NOAA and any other organizations around the globe who have invaded and perverted science with concepts like “corrected data,” “peer review” and “models.” We will flush them out and restore a common sense, back-to-basics approach to science by implementing a “raw data only” policy.
Once that’s done, we will assemble a great team of the sharpest thinkers like Anthony Watts, Tim Ball and Marc Morano to help us figure out what that hell is going on with climate science today. And it’ll be a diverse group that embraces all points of view, including ones from very good looking girls like Joanne Nova and Judith Curry (eh, maybe not so much).*
Then we start winning. We are going to make science so great you aren’t going to be able to stand it. That will allow us to discover so many new ways to find so many new reserves oil will be flooding the streets and you’ll be choking on the natural gas fumes filling the air. Soon, you’ll be begging us to stop, “please, no more science!” But we are going to just keep drilling, folks.
So join me and let the world know now that #ClimateDeniersMatter. Together, we can Make Science Great Again.
* Anyone offended by this politically incorrect joke needs to lighten up and get a grasp on parody.
Anthony Watts can suck my dust. I’m worldwide now, baby. Armed only with a Twitter account, cheap website and a lunatic’s drive to prove the entire global scientific community wrong about climate change my fringe conspiracy theories are now infecting the minds of of high ranking Australian politicians like Malcolm Roberts.
Never underestimate the power of a crackpot with a Twitter account and free blogging software. After over half a decade of obsessive compulsive nut jobbery, my efforts are paying off. I, Steve Goddard, am now influencing one of the most powerful institutions in the world, the US Senate. Last Tuesday, fellow sociopath and Senator, Ted Cruz, showcased a completely bogus chart I created to back up my claim that NOAA is engaged in a conspiracy to fudge data.
Senator Cruz’s prospects for becoming the Republican nominee are looking good right now. Today the Senate, tomorrow, who knows? I just might become a high-placed science advisor for the President of the USA on the matter of climate change!
Update #1, Sept. 11, 2015: It doesn’t appear as if Google is actually calling my blog “news.” What happened is I cherry picked some data about Arctic sea ice and it spread across the right-wing blogs like wild fire. Google merely flagged my article as “In the news” because it was getting talked about, which it is.
My name is Tony Heller (aka Steven Goddard). I’m a professional climate change denier and I use this blog to blow the whistle on myself.
Google is now classifying my blog posts as “news.” You can fool our robot overlords most of the time.
Climate Change News, Washington, DC — Our hard hitting reporters have uncovered a trove of deleted comments from Judith Curry’s recent blog post. The comments, from climate denier “Tony Heller Exposed,” shed light on Curry’s shocking hypocrisy. Apparently, the comments hit a nerve with the climatologist—who pretends to value open discussion from all sides of the climate debate—and were wiped from the public record.